I was sitting in the library, concentrating on the beautiful and joyous subject of integrable systems, when my attention began to wander. The standard library daydream of angelina jolie and avril lavigne was flitting through my brain when I suddenly here a magical voice. "Steve, the rugby team neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeds you". Sitting on my shoulder was a talking frog. At first i discounted this as a throwback to my summer of love but the frog persisted. "I am Wusasicent and I will warn you once more to head up to the pitch". "But what could the danger be", i replied aghast as the frog faded away. The girl to my right was staring at me at this point, probably in lust, as i strode purposefully out of the library up to the pitch.
After sauntering up to the pitch, i discovered the dark truth the frog had hinted at. Churchill only had 14 players!!! A slightly seedy looking weasel garbled "quick go get your kit". One quick kit change and contact lens application later i was back at the pitch. It was only at this point I discovered churchill had in fact bin destroying Kings with less than 15 warriors (23-5 wen i came on?). Fucking drama queen frog. My opposite number was a fearsome sight, at least 6'10 and weighing 25 stone*. Fortunately i distracted him with a riddle** and ran past him to score 3 tries with my first 3 touches. Alas i failed on my 4th and final. Tom Q also scored one after that but basically everyone on our team was better than their opposite number from what i saw and i think we could have beaten them with 11 players. Bilco needs to get a 2nds match against Kings 2nds ASAP. The ref blew up early (20 odd mins early? ) to spare their blushes. A resounding victory for the forces of pink and brown over the bongo playing, whale saving, afro sporting communist guerillas from central cambridge.
I woke with a start in the library. But if it was just a dream why am i writing this email, and why was i wearing a gum shield?
* at least 80% of his body mass was hair. I think he had a small family of shrews living in his afro? At least thats what ollie told me.
** the 'riddle' was "look behind you, an angry badger!". Clearly i had to repeat it 3 times tho! He wasnt still turned around from the first time when i scored the 2nd and 3rd. that would have been silly.
By Steve Kennedy